At a business or networking event, who do you think is the most powerful person in the room?
The person with the photographic memory who wows people with their mastery of facts and powers of recall?
The one who has the greatest number of people reporting to them?
Or, is it the one who is controlling the conversation with stories of their accomplishments and interests?
In my opinion, he or she is none of the above.
The truly powerful person lets others tell their story first (within reason). He or she then adds to the conversation in a way that acknowledges their contribution and picks up where they left off. The powerful person builds common ground, further drawing out the other person.
The powerful person probably has a high level of emotional intelligence, which is really the ability to identify with and relate to others. As a result, the powerful person creates an environment that makes the other person comfortable sharing ideas and information with them. The powerful person has created the option of building a relationship from there, based on what they’ve just heard and sensed.
Title really has nothing to do with one’s ability to draw other people out. Everyone appreciates a two-way conversation. Don’t be afraid.
Consider the CEO who spends the event listening to subordinates pitching their accomplishments. Wouldn’t that CEO be more impressed with an employee who spoke with them confidently (and respectfully) about things that were of mutual interest, versus them and their careers?
I recently reTweeted this article in Inc.magazine by Brian Evje of Slalom Consulting.
[tweet https://twitter.com/CSuiteProspects/status/209687733478756353]
Many ideas within the piece stuck with me. The following idea clearly supports the case for effective listening, which garners trust and transparency from any conversational partner.
“If you want to encourage honest feedback, direct discussion, conflict resolution, and clear decisions, you must create and maintain an environment for this to occur. That’s the leader’s responsibility.”